Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
