you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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