home. puking in laundry basket.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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