Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
