I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
