This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
