do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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