i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
