doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
