Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
