I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
