That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
