If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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