Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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