What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
