new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
