He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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