I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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