I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
