Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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