I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
