At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
