Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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