I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize