if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
