Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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