My friends, they love my intelligence
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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