the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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