Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
