As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
