I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
