just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
