We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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