im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
