I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
