real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize