he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
