dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
