im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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