I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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