Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
