I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
