Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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