Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
