you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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