i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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