Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
