how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
