he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
