ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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