i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
