Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
