how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
