Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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