I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Found your dick twin last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
