it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
