Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
