We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
