A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
