I bet he comes in French.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
