I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
